OK, so I have no idea what Heidi Klum has to do with Bob Seger and video games, but have you seen the new commercial for Guitar Hero World Tour? I't sgot Heidi in it and they recreate that scene from Risky Business...you know where tom cruise is dancing around in his underwear and lip syncing to old time rock and roll? Yeah, you know what else was also recreated? That explosion in Hiroshima, except this time in my pants. Hi five!

Squirrel on Fire Rock Life

Sex with car vaccum Rock Life Story - UPDATE! Here's the mug shot for the guy.

Baby locked in the car at a strip club Rock Life story.

Blind Guy Rock Life Story - Guiy went to a strip club and went blind.

As is my job, and I think I do a pretty damn good one, I surf the boundless pages of the interenet so you don't have to...bringing you stories and sometimes pictures of the things that will make your life that much better, if only for a breif moment...and I think I have done that yet again. I have pictures of Selma Hyack for you. Salma was on some German television show, and was showing off her assests...and by assests I mean her mamalian protruberences. So, Selma has not only has a pretty face and great body, but she also has a great rack. And she made the most of her God-given talents by wearing a tight-fitting, traditional Bavarian dress on the show. Chances are, you'll probably never get to see a hot Latina with a gigantic rack in dress like this again without hiding the credit card bills from your wife, so sorry about that, dude. But you won't be walking away empty-handed. Oh, no. Relive your experience with the Church of Crowley Home Game on Classic Rock 9-4-5 dot com!

Click Here for the It's A Man...or at least was a man, Rock Life Story. Here's a picture of her/him-

Click Here for comedian Mike Armstrong's website or Click Here for the Off The Hook Comedy Club website.

Fire Woman Rock Life Story

Hometown Rock Life story. No sex...with someone or alone for Jonothan. Here's his mug-shot too!

Here are some promotional photos for Megan Fox's new movie, How To Lose Friends and Alienate People,  that have been coming out for a while now, but most of them have included Kirsten Dunst. But you know damn well that I am morally obligated to post any pictures that have ANYTHING to do with anything including "Megan Fox" and ESPECIALLY if she's in her bra. So, I've taken the liberty to post some pictures on my webpage for you. No need to thank me, really...because I'm not going to lie. These pictures so hold a bit of sentimental value for me. When you go to the webpage I want you to look at that first picture.  Then, imagine me standing next to Megan Fox pulling up my pants and feigning modesty - And THAT is Exactly what my dreams have looked like for the past two years.

I'm Now A Eunuch Rock Life story (10/1/08)

Cow Suit Rock Life -

"Hammer time!" Rock Life Sory - with video goodness.

Click Here to read the Dentist who re-po's his work story.

Click Here for the "Crowd Cheers on Sex Romp" Rock Life story.

If you're "Coulrophobic" this calendar isn't for you. Naked Clowns. Chad Benjamin Potter, the lead clown on the project says, "Our goal was to create this sort of craziness in your mind. When you think of clowns you think of costumes and makeup and hair. When you think naked clowns, that's something else entirely." Yes...yes it is...something that unless you have a certian fetish, I'm imagining you'd not want to see that! I mean really, let's think this through for a moment... "Hey - I just saw that clown naked! He would be perfect for my kid's birthday party!" I wonder if this is how John Wayne Gacy started...

Click Herefor the Impaled on a Fence and Didn't Feel It story.

Click Herefor the Johnson Size Rock Life

Click Here for the Hooker-Mistaken-Identity Rock Life Story 9-9-08

Click Here to hear (and download) the "Condom! Condom!" ringtone.  Seriously, who thinks this is a good idea? What's next? Ringtones for the overweight and obese? "Fat ass, fat ass!" "Have a salad! Have a salad!" Ringtones for the recovering alcoholic? "Coffee! Soda!" "Go to a meeting! Go to a meeting!" Ringtones for drug addicts? "Clean needles! Don't share!" "Hepatitis C! Hepatitis C!" Ringtones for public fornicators? "Get a room! Get a room!" If these people really want this to work, they need to get Apu (from The Simpson's) to be their spokesperson/cartoon and/or the condom a cappella voice. That way the ringtone could belt out, "Condom, condom. Thank you. Come again."

Miss Sister 2008 (click here for the article)- Click Here for some pics of how it could look

Click Here to see Tropical Storm Fay Kite Surfer

Click Here for the Espresso Drive Through Cross Dressing Freak Rock Life story.

Click Here for the Sex Kitten Rock Life Story (with picture goodness...really...I'd hit it like the fist of an angry God)

Click Here for the Naked Axe Man Rock Life Story 8-14-08. Check out the mugshot!

Click Here for pics of our Military Men and Women keeping thier sanity through humor. Thanks to Brother Dab, Head Usher of the Church of Crowley and Viet Nam veteran '68 for submitting them.

Click Here for the Meat Tenderizer Rock Life

Monkey Pig, Monkey Pig, Does Whatever A Monkey Pig Does - What do you think, Pork flavored Ham or Monkey flavored bacon?

Rock Life Pizzaria Video - Click Here. Read the story Here.

Ohio "Foot squirting syringe guy" - This is his mugshot...no kidding.

Crowley Giving Russell from Headcount his blessing while Russell kisses the Un-Holy Rosary of the Church of Crowley -
 - Click Here for a bigger picture.

Click Here for Creative Sound Solutions studios...and thanks guys for helping with the Rock Life Theme Music!

Click Here for the duo I was telling you about...Hot Chick and the Guy

Click Here for the story on the woman who locked herself in her car. WASTE OF SPACE!!!

OK, this is so WRONG! I can't BELIEVE Mutt Lange left his wife (Shania Twain on the left) for THIS (new woman in his life on the right)! Is he INSANE? He gave up sex with Shania for life for THAT?!?!? WTF????

FHM's Sexiest Woman Alive Megan Fox topless! She's got a new movie called "Jennifer's Body" and what a body it is. Click Here for the pics. NSFW!!

The Most Seductive Woman, according to a new poll - Click Here for a picture.

Here's why I'm so tired after the weekend's festivities after Cape Coral's Bike Night -  Bau chika bau bau!

 Click Here for the Groom-To-Be-Taser incident with the Knox County Sheriff's Deputy.

Friend of the show Alvin sent this in...it's so true.

Ritchie Sambora's Mug Shot - Is it just me or is he looking a LOT like Mickey Rourke?!?

This is the funniest video I've seen in a long time. You have to take a look. NOT SAFE FOR WORK! You have been warned. Click Here for the video.

Above is said photo from the Hospital. No wonder people have to "find" God...he only sees people by appointment apparently! WTF?!?!?

A NEW Holiday!! I'm going to LOOOOVE this one. Thanks to Workforce Member Vicki for this one. Click Here to see the new Holiday, with foto-goodness.

CLICK HERE to print your CELL PHONE JACKASS ticket 

Click Here for the Off The Hook Comedy Club website

Here's the local band I was telling you about called Head Count. Click Here for their Myspace site.

President Theodore Roosevelt's Speech from 1907 on being an AMERICAN.

"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people." 

 

The Q & A

Is Crowley your real name? Yes it is. It's a guy thing to call each other by their last names for some reason...I haven't heard my first name used in years...unless my mother calls. Oh God...(shudders).

How old are you? Old enough to know better, too damn young to care.

Married, Single, Abstaining? Good question. Thanks for asking.

Have you really lived and traveled all over the United States? I grew up in Alaska, and came to Southwest Florida by way of Oregon and Michigan.

How did you get into radio? I didn't want to get a real job...why work when you can play all day?

The best thing about working for Classic Rock 94.5: See above.

Hobbies: Golf, Racquetball, Wakeboarding and just about any other sport I can find a way to play.

Three things I could not live without: Pop Tarts, Chocolate and a good lawyer (Thanks Bill!)

Three things I could live without: Rules, Regulations and people without a sense of humor.

On the street I’m usually mistaken for: Somebody who gives a damn.

If I could bring any artist back from the great beyond it would be: Hendrix...definitley

Reality TV show I’d most like to participate in and why: American Idol, so I could beat the judges and the creators about the head neck and shoulder area repeatedly with gusto! Actually, I'd like to give the creator of the show a good D&%K punch.

Here’s something no one knew about me… until now: Well, I've never told anyone this...but...I'm really a lesbian, trapped in a mans body.

FAVORITES: TV Show - Two and a Half Men, How I Met Your Mother, I'm starting to really like Burn Notice on USA...a new one called the Cleaner with Benjamin Bratt on A&E is EXCELLENT and I can't forget my two ALL TIME FAVORITES...Futurama and Robot Chicken!

Song: Mr. Crowley...of course!

Artist: Ozzy

Band: Head or Arm...I can't decide. Rubber is a good one too.

Sports Team: Cleveland Browns - Cleveland Indians - Jeff Gordon in NASCAR

Websites: I'm not allowed to put that on here...it would sacrifice the integrity of the United States government.

Food: A nice thick filet mignon done medium rare with steamed asparagus, garlic mashed potatoes and a glass of Opus One.

Beverage: OK, this one you're going to laugh at...believe it or not I LOVE milk. I drink at least a gallon every two days. And you already know about the Kamikaze's and Scotch. Mmmmm....scotchity goodness. Single malt please.